Happy life
‘Smart people learn from their mistakes. But the real
sharp ones learn from the mistakes of others.’
I remember happy life thinking, ‘I can literally delve into the mind of some of the world’s greatest thinkers and actually see their thoughts’. For a long time, I believed that thoughts become things. This was the moment when I went to seek out some of the world’s greatest thinkers to try and influence the inner workings of my own mind.
As a child with a love of sport, I would spend hours copying and replicating the moves of my favourite footballers and soccer players – this would be no different.
Instead of trying to solo off one foot and shoot with the other like the football star Pat Spillane or step over and back-heel a pass like the soccer prodigy Zinedine Zidane, I would practice using the mental strategies and techniques that have supported some of the greatest thinkers in history to strengthen and improve my own mind and my own conscience (and subconscious) thoughts.
1 – WHEREVER YOU DECIDE TO GO, GO 100%
I have no regrets in life. I honestly believe that all the bad stuff and things you would take back if you could, have merged the character of who you are today.
That being said, one of the life advices I would give my younger self would be, ‘Once you know what you want, go after it with all of your heart’. I make all my life decisions on the simple premise that it’s either a ‘Hell, yes’ or it’s a ‘No’. If it doesn’t excite me, I don’t do it. If it does, I’m all in.
2 – EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE HAS BEAUTY, BUT NOT EVERYONE SEES IT
I have been a victim of this in the past. If someone has annoyed me or been rude to me (rudeness is one of my biggest pet peeves), I have labelled them as ‘being rude’. Rudeness, like most things that annoy us, is an action, not a characteristic. Only when
I learnt to separate the thoughts of what they’re doing as an action and not who they are, was I able to detach myself and realize that some people are just having a bad day and it’s not a reflection on their character and definitely not a reflection on you.
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3 – IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW SLOWLY YOU GO, AS LONG, HAPPY LIFE
It doesn’t matter how slowly you are moving forward toward the life, mind or body you want, as long as you’re moving in the right direction and ‘have the ladder up against the right wall’, you will eventually get to where you want to be. Remember Aesop’s fable of the tortoise and the hare – slow and steady wins the race.
4 – IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS, YOU HAVEN’T ASKED ALL THE QUESTIONS
One of the miraculous beauties of life is that we will never know it all. Things change, ideas change, science changes we are creatures constantly evolving.
Around 330 BC, Aristotle maintained on the basis of physical theory and observational evidence that the Earth was spherical (round) and reported on an estimate on the circumference. Up until that point, we knew the world was flat – just think about that whenever you think you know something.
5 – LIFE IS REALLY SIMPLE, BUT WE INSIST ON MAKING IT COMPLICATED
Find the things that make you happy, do more of it. Find the things that make
you unhappy, do less of it.
6 – IF YOU HATE SOMEBODY, THAT’S ON YOU, NOT THEM
Hate is a horrible thing to be consumed by, and it’s a basic human feeling. Hate, like every other human emotion, is nothing more than a manifestation of thought – you control it. Hate puts your mind into a negative place, where the mere association of the person you associate this feeling with can destroy you as a person and your underlying happiness.
Are there people I dislike? Of course! But hate, that’s an emotion I try and keep out of my conscience and subconscious. ‘If it doesn’t support you, get rid of it” – that feeling supports very few people and those that it did (Hitler, Stalin and Mussolini to name a few), well, you know what happened there.
7 – DON’T ADJUST THE GOALS, ADJUST THE ACTION STEPS
As human beings, we have put a man on the moon. We physically designed a piece of machinery that could leave our atmosphere and go to another planet. Sam Walton (the creator of Walmart Stores) was worth 160 billion dollars when he died – that’s one hundred and sixty thousand million dollars.
Are you telling me Sam Walton is one hundred and sixty thousand million times smarter than you? I didn’t think so.
Next time you try to ‘get down four dress sizes’ or ‘get abs for the summer’ and wonder if you can do it, remember that as a species, we have put a man on the moon. Aim small, miss small.
8 – RESPECT YOURSELF AND OTHERS WILL RESPECT YOU FOR HAPPY LIFE
One of my biggest goals in life is to instil the feeling of self-worth and respect into my daughter. I would trade every single thing in my life to make sure my girl grows up with confidence and self-respect.
I truly believe that respecting yourself gives you the confidence to be truly happy in life. How can anybody else respect you if you don’t respect yourself?
9 – WHAT THE HAPPY PERSON LOOKS FOR IN THEMSELVES, THE UNHAPPY PERSON LOOKS FOR IN OTHERS
Happiness comes from within, it’s not a tangible thing. A nice car, a new house, an attractive partner – none of these things in themselves bring true ‘happiness’ or ‘fulfilment’. They’re external sources that can be taken away with a blink of an eye.
Sure, they’re nice for a little while and your ego will happily take the nice comments, but again, those sweet comments are simply words from other people. If other people’s comments are what’s making you happy, then you’re always going to need something external or superficial to retain that
happiness.
Learn to find the happiness from within and you will always be happy.
10 – STUDY THE PAST IF YOU WANT TO DEFINE THE FUTURE
In conclusion, learning from other people’s mistakes or triumphs can allow you to create any life that you want. As someone who has struggled with energy, sleep, getting in shape and anxiety, amongst other things, and came out the other side stronger because of it, I hope this books serves as a blueprint to cut your own learning curve.
Remember that thoughts become things – the ideas you put into your head become the thoughts that you have, and your thoughts influence actions. The actions you take dictate the direction of your life. Decide who you want to be and build your life around becoming that person.
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